Assalamualaikum
We were happy like we normally do 2 days ago. Disturbing each other, sulking and all the things we do. Then all of a sudden u'r all sour towards me ever since school ended that day. Just b'cos of one stupid mistake that I did and u'r treating me like this. But what do u expect me to do? Coincidentally he ws-ed u and I was using ur phone gg thru twitter and accidentally pressed on ur chat. Sweaty palms problems. I know its wrong to look at other's privacy. I was thinking of closing the ws and continue with twitter till I saw the part where u told him ur work was canceled. That caught my attention b'cos earlier u told me u'r working at 5.30pm after school. Then I thought we could hang out after u and I ended work. And I was suppose to work from 5pm-11pm. But I purposely told my ops to change my sched from 5-11 to 5-9 instead b'cos I really wanna hang out with u just like last week.
But as I read through idky I continued to, u'r gg out with him. I had a sudden breakdown thats why I stopped using ur phone, put it on yim's table and just rest my head on my table. In my mind, I told myself, what if I asked her again whether she's working or not and she told me she's working? Wouldn't that be lie-ing? What a waste that I asked to change my sched.
Then she came to my table and sat next to me. I assume she noticed that I was not in the mood or something. Then she kept asking me whats wrong. I just said nothing was wrong. She knows that I'm lie-ing. So she kept asking and tickling me hoping to cheer me up I guess? After doing that for a couple of times, she gave up and looked at the other side of the table. Then I asked her if she's working at 5.30 or not. I'm expecting her to say no. But she said yes instead. I just said "hhmph" and looked the other side towards the screen. This is the part that I wished I didn't do. I tweeted using my private acc about her lie-ing to me and I said just go out with him instead idc. At this point, I'v had a bad feeling about this. I know something bad was about to happen.
Then suddenly she left my table and went back to her table. I assume she knew what I did and I straight away checked her twitter. Yup, she tweeted indirectly to me saying that she has the rights to go out with whoever she want and why did I invaded her privacy and all. I stoned for a while. Didn't know what to do. So I just sat there till sch ended. When we were released, she was nowhere to be seen. I asked Shah where she went and told me that she went to work. Wtf she lied to u too? So I ran to the escalator nearby and I saw her walking fast towards the gate. I was alr fucked at that point. I bid goodbye to the rest and tried to catch up to her. When I got to the gate, she's gone just like that.
I telegram her asking where did she go and her keys are still with me. Wasn't expecting her to reply straight but she did, in a very sour way. That' s it. The past if repeating itself. I apologies to her saying how sorry I was. I really am. I really regret for what I did. Seriously, feeling like this again just sucks. Of all the people around me, u'r the person I really wish not to argue with really. But if this is what u want, u don't wish to see me, then fine. I respect ur decision. Cos I don't wanna hurt ur feelings again. I'm such a useless guy. If not talking to me or even look at me will make u feel better then perhaps I think I should just leave. I dont wanna add anymore to ur loads. Thats enough damage I'v done.
Naz if u'r reading this. I just wanna tell u that I'm truly, sincerely sorry for what I'v done. I really regret for doing that. I really don't wanna end up with us not talking again. It really sucks. I know I'v fucked up and made u hurt and upset. U have every right to be angry at me. Seems like u wanna cut ties with me. I deserve it. Sorry I'v been such of a burden to u. But I really hope u can forgive me. I don't know what else should I do to make it up to u. This is the best I could do. If u'r still unsatisfied about it, then its ur call whether u still want me around or not. I'm not perfect. I'm just a human that makes mistakes. Once again, I'm sincerely sorry for everything Naz. I miss u alr. And I dont know why I feel so afraid to face u.
